i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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