y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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