Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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