We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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