Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
