I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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