am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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