STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
