Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
