if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
