So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
