You're completely useless in the revolution.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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