Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
