If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
