why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
