I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
