i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
