My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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