Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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