Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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