I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
