I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
