Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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