Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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