the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
