New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
