Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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