so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
