I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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