Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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