remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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