I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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