Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
