That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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