I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
