That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
