so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
