The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
