Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My dick has a subreddit
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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