exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
