Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
