just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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