Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
