I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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