All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
