Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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