he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
