Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
