O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
