your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
