Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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