guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
